think too much bad and bad will stay find good

Lots of times I never say anything just to my journals because I don't like drama or conflict. And with most people that feed on it. So I never talk about anything because I know it always bad timing or other people come first and they say you should have patience. So I place myself in the back of the line when it comes to talking about the bad things. Do I like not talking about it yes I'd rather write it down someplace. Why because I have been this way my whole life. So don't make me feel like I can't speak or trust because I'll be the one in the fight losing it. But when I look to another topic another scene another story and other people I don't feel so bad because we all do it. It's okay to be human. I just don't have the ideal dream worthy humans connected to it where its beautiful and not stressing all the time. I will have to learn how to make things better. I will not continue to associate with the bad things. Always look for God and treat others how you wish to be treated. Don't get mad at me because you assume it's you or you understand something you know nothing about because you are not the one there experiencing it. I'm not a downer if anything I am that light. And speaking of light this sweetlight gets upset when she is on her game and is trying to achieve something and gets kicked out or not given the chance to succeed. Same thing goes for any other people or place in life. I am fine when I find like minded people who are trying to achieve the samethings and we try are best to complete an activity. Do I get mad when I have to complete a team effort on my own yes I do because I do need that structure and I'm willing to do whatever it takes. So I just gotta keep bringing out the best of everything. 

what in the...

I was going the the street with some of my friends and I didn't want to go without my shoes so I said stop when they crossed the street because I wanted to go back. They didn't stop and wait for me. I went back anyways talking to myself saying fine I'll go walk by myself I don't need them. I was at the door on my way out there was see party across the street. This boy came over and said where you going? Then I told him what happened he said it's ok I'll walk with you my friends left me too. Then I said something about a plane and like a minute after that I told him I'm psychic but there was a loud noise in the sky. Then it got really quiet the plane disappeared. All at once there was this big explosion in the sky. I said see the plane just blew up, but that wasn't just it there was this huge robot that came out of the explosion. We took this big square thing and put it against the door. The thing went down the road in a different direction but still we was scared. Someone came to the door and pushed their way through. We got yelled at for blocking the door. Mostly because my friend was still out there. I said you didn't see that big giant robot thing with long metal legs and a glass like yellow middle? Run into the basement where will we hide where will we go? Or the roof I don't its huge. This is insane. I dunno what else happened because I woke up so I'm not sure which sucks because I was interested in seeing on what was going to happen next. How could they not believe me of what happened or not even see it it was like a giant. Someone thought I was crazy.

ice 🍨

I was walking around some town they had all these shops and casinos which I wanted to go inside because they looked like parties. Somehow  I ended up at my cousin's house which was huge like a manison. It had a pool with a beach connected to it. I was going to jump into the water when I seen there was alot of rocks and the waves never stop pushing. That's when I realized you couldn't see there, but the pool was safe. Jessie and buddha was fishing out front. Jenny was in the kitchen making us ice cream. After I smoked I went into the kitchen where I seen this magic hand device with a circular saw spinning around I'm the air by itself. I told jenny to run. The ice cream was like a mountain and this magic hand device was flying around it cutting it up. I started laughing so hard I wasn't sure what was going on. I told Jessie to give me some more smoke because that stuff was so good  seeing flying objects in the kitchen. Lol. I dunno what jenny ever did with the ice cream if we ever got to eat it or what because I woke up laughing so hard.

unhappy

I had this bad dream about this black guy who wouldn't leave me alone. it got so bad to the point where he grabbed some bottles of bleach and took them downstairs in the basement. I went down to see what he was doing and there was this barrel full of green toxic water with my rabbit inside of it. I tired to save it he grabbed it out of the barrel and then I grabbed my rabbit. Her teeth was showing and there was green smoke coming off her body and I cried as she died. This black guy killed my rabbit because I wouldn't give into him. Now I hated him more. I screamed for help but no one could hear me. 

dark

I had this nightmare where I was in this place and there was all these strangers and my parents at my house partying. I'm was pissed because I never had any friends to party like that before with. Then I'll was mad because all the rooms was wrecked. I hated the dirty floors and mess they all was making and I wasn't even invited. I told my parents I wish they was dead because they was ruining everything. They left and so did the others. I came home again and this time there was yet another party of strangers in my place and I was mad again. This time it wasn't dirty and there was less people. I still yelled for everyone to leave. Then somehow I had to sleep on the floor next to some guy trying to sick on my tits and I pushed him off saying not until I'm married. I'm sick of all u people go home. So I left and went to hide out front under some stairs. Some girl and her friends had me playing some kind of game on the sidewalk. Then some girl with a sword came back killing everyone. I ran back into the apartment and shut the door on one of the other girls that was from from the killer. I just wanted to get out of there. I almost didn't make it. I tired to tell everyone what was happening no one belived me. 

naughty

I was with some people it's like it was halloween or something. We watching TV or going into the tv then we ended up at some house. I remember running up and down the stairs. Somehow they was trying to turn me into a vampire like they are. Some guy picked up an ghostface costume from a store window. He said he was the devil so I ran away but then I didn't run no more I was super hornet. I was having the best sex ever with the devil and I liked it. It felt so real. But then again when I wake up to waking world it's the real hell. I'd rather stay in my dreams because now I'm just angry. 

I had a dream

I was living in this big house with a dungeon in the basement. Everyone came over and threw a party. Someone was complaining because there wasn't a servers for their drinks. Somehow I was in the basement climbing this wood rope thing trying to not fall into the water. We got through that then people was dressed up with sheilds and weapons they jump on us we didn't have any armor. Then I woke up.